Confessions of a Backup Dancer

        Tucker Shaw’s Confessions of a Backup Dancer is the diary of Kelly Kimball, an aspiring dancer who is offered a job dancing for the current queen of pop, Darcy Barnes. Eileen Wang, the overly eccentric manager for the It’s Darcy! tour, calls Kelly early on, offering her this summer job, which pays over $40,000! Being from a troubled family with monetary issues, Kelly gratefully accepts the gig. When Kelly reaches the dance studio, she realizes that everyone has given up their real names for eclectic pseudonyms. It seems that, while a hot trend nowadays is “REALNESS”, keeping your real name is not. She assumes the nickname “K.K.” and begins to learn intricate dance routines. She quickly learns that what people say about how backup dancers are super tight is completely untrue. The other dancers “straight up ignored me”, Kelly writes. Darla, Darcy’s over-bearing mom-ager, develops an immediate dislike for Kelly, telling her that a low-carb Powerbar would be more appropriate for her “fitness level”. That’s right, this size 0 should apparently add being “fat” to her list of problems. Kelly had expected Darcy to be diva-like and adorned with various hangers-on. She soon learns that Darcy’s outward physical appearance doesn’t replicate her personality. She seems like a child in a 17-year-old’s starved, bleach-blond body. That soon changes when she goes on a joy ride and smokes some pot. Kelly now learns that Darcy has multiple personalities and, by the end of her diary, she writes about at least five. Kelly’s brother, Evan, recently got out of Juvenile Hall and is having trouble adjusting to regular life. Kelly takes him under her wing and saves some of her earnings for Evan’s tuition at an exclusive, outdoor-oriented private school. At an after party in New York City, Darcy gets hammered after downing 4 Slippery Nipples. Kelly carries her to the hotel, where Darcy falls on the floor, curls up into the fetal position and vomits. The next day, Darla blames Kelly for the entire incident, citing how Kelly “let” this happen. Kelly is fired and flies back to her hometown of San Diego. Soon after, she is offered a job dancing for Pashmina, Darcy’s arch rival in the pop queen arena. At a huge summer blow-out concert in New York, Pashmina and Darcy are both slated to perform. The problem is that neither diva will give up performing first. Darcy agrees to let Pashmina perform first, as long as she can “have K.K.”. Darcy and Kelly sing a duet that they had earlier written, much to the dismay and intense anger of Darla. Kelly’s estranged mother comes to see her after the show, hugging her and telling her how beautiful she looks. They all return to San Diego to work things out and, as Kelly says, “[they]‘ve got a lot to do”.

        I must, grudgingly, reveal that I enjoyed reading this book. Despite the lack of depth and proper writing structure, I did like reading about what “pop divas are like AFTER the cameras stop rolling!” I know, the write up on the back was really cheesy, but it seems that I will have to add this to my long list of guilty pleasures. Nevertheless, I felt that I could relate to Kelly in a number of ways. I am an EXTREMELY good dancer, if I say so myself, and have pictured myself making it big in Hollywood many a time. It is in this way that I also differ from Kelly. She seemed reluctant at first to accept her newfound fame, where I would NEVER hesitate to become some flavour of the week. Does that make me shallow? Anyways, Kelly’s reluctance portrays her down-to-earth and “real” personality.

        The author, Tucker Shaw, is a relatively unknown writer. Despite hermit-like anonymity, Shaw is able to depict Kelly’s rawness as a writer, spelling mistakes and all. At the beginning of every chapter, Kelly would write four things in bold: her outfit, hair, mood, and fortune. Her hair would usually be the most ridiculed, mostly for the intense damage due to numerous colourings. Verbal irony is found in the sexual innuendos involving Darcy and her assorted flings. There is a sense of conflict between Darcy and herself. She really wants to be a dancer and be noticed but, at the same time, she’s hesitant to leave everything she has ever known behind.